I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
