Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
