I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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