Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
