Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she peed on how many people?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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