Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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