You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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