I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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