Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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