I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
you never un-have a 4some
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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