I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
That accounts for only three of the penises
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
