It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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