i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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