You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
