Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
handjob tips. give me some.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
