just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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