You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
