In the future we'll all be gay
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
me + whiskey = a bad person
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
