biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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