New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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