oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
