She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
