Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
