why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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