she was so not down for the gang bang
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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