I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
