he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
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i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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