Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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