I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
