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• (301): View more from Maryland

  i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party

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• (210): View more from Texas

  she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice

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• (646): View more from New York

  I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"

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• (949): View more from California

  I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.

  (425): View more from Washington

  are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask

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• (817): View more from Texas

  She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.

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