Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?