everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize