How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
