so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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