I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We are two peas in an std pod
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize