dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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