Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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