We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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