OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
