at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
