This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
