its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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