yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
