6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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