i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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