Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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