I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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