Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
