How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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