and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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