you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
