Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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