The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
