its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
