You made me cry and you don't even care
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
