She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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