oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
