Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
